Being the jokey-jokester that I am, of course I couldn't just surprise her with something *normal* like cookies or offering to grab a delicious hot coffee. Instead, I opted to give her a giant gummy bear on a stick.
I wasn't even sure if she liked gummy bears, but I couldn't resist presenting any item that's proudly touted as "90 times the size of a standard gummy bear." Who knew there were standards? As if someone on an esteemed International Gummy Bear Council has power over what is deemed an appropriately sized gummy bear.
Let's say there was a Gummy Bear Council. Would there be other councils, too? Would there be industry rumors swirling saying, "I hear the worms are down in size by 25% and contain 10% less gummy..."?
(Image source: vat19.com)