March 30, 2011

NO. NO. And NO.

I would step in front of a moving freight train for my children, but I draw the line at this:

Cue the Meatloaf song "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that..."


March 28, 2011

Three years

My little buddy boy turned three yesterday.  He kicked off the festivities by biting his sister first thing in the morning, ensuring that the day could only go up from there.

We had a very small family gathering and he was perplexed when he ripped open a gift and saw a label maker box.  I mean, what kid doesn't want to look professional? 

Lucky for Griffin, his grandparents stuffed a bunch of cool dino toys inside the box.  Merely for transport, they assured him.

This is the dino cake his grandmother made for him.

And here he is acting shy while we sung "Happy Birthday."

His "big gift" from us was a little scooter which he took to like a fish to water.  Wavey got a little jealous of all the wheel-around fun, so we dusted off her bike from last summer to play with...

 ...and realized that we need to go bike shopping again soon.

Reminds me of a circus bear on a little bike.


March 24, 2011

The open letters

I've fallen in love with the wit and stationery letterpress of Sapling Press. my favorite piece:

The cards are inspired by  An example of their awesome posts:

Dear Crust,

Don't worry, they don't like me either.

First couple pieces of bread


March 23, 2011

Baby Stinky

To my friend who finds fun ways to taunt me:

If you ever again give my kid a doll who, um, "uses the diaper" in every real sense of the way, please know that I will drive the 1.5 hours to your house on a hot summer day to drop off said toy and "extra fun" accessories/fermentation into your luxury car's glove box as payback.


March 21, 2011

The California "O" Diet

We just returned from a vacation in California, my native home state.  With its beaches, ferris wheels and corndog stores, it's a wonder I ever left.

Want to know my secret to good small-child behavior on cross-country trips?  THE "O's" DIET.  As in, forget nutrition: beg and plead for good behavior using the very special snacks of Cheetos, Doritos, Fritos and the occassional Cheerios. 

Cereal aside, the Gravy Kids very rarely get to eat foods of substantial saturated fat and fakey-fake cheese, so busting out those treats was an instant behavior modifier. Mother of the Year, I know.

We now return to your regularly scheduled food groups.


March 17, 2011

Doll head soap, take 2

I visited my sister recently and got to see first-hand the creepy baby doll head soap I sent her for a laugh.

Well worth the plane ticket to see that she proudly displays it right on the sink in her guest bathroom.

March 15, 2011

Test your skills, amaze your friends

Take a guess at which of the following two cousins are in the three-year-old age range:

If you guess right, you win both kids.  No questions asked.


March 14, 2011

Enough is enough

Dear husband,

Knock it off.

March 11, 2011

Chug, chug, chug!

I'm pretty lenient when it comes to parenting, but had I been home I would have drawn the line at this situation which was texted to me by my husband last night:

Apparently, the kids are being raised in a barn.


March 9, 2011

Sugary sentiments

My sister-in-law gave me this cool cookie kit for Christimas:

The messaging possibilities (both appropriate and inappropriate) swirled through my head, but I landed on these for my inaugural batch:


March 8, 2011

Snow suit

There is still about 10 million feet of snow outside and apparently "dress yourself" mornings missed that memo:

And why last season's swimsuit was still kicking around is beyond me.


March 7, 2011

I usually love processed food

I had no idea you could purchase pre-chewed chicken.


March 4, 2011

Casting call

My arm wasn't healing with use of a soft cast, so I'm now the proud owner of this bad-boy for the next several weeks:

The story of a injured ligament isn't as fun as coming up with some clever line to strangers who ask about the cast.  I've considered changing the story to that one time I was in a super ninja fight, or how I busted it falling off a bar stool.

Anything is better than "I got rear-ended big time by an elderly driver.  In November.  And yes, it still hurts."  Feel free to share an outlandish story idea I can use while out and about this weekend.


March 3, 2011

My dark roast secret

I'd like to shake the hand of the marketing geniuses who said to themselves one day, "I bet there are nutballs out there who would love the taste of burnt pretzels..."

...because I am that nutball.

I {heart} burnt toast, too.  And I know that's not normal.


March 2, 2011

Is "poo" with two O's?

Wavey has been practicing her writing skills.  And these are the gems she's turning in:


March 1, 2011

For the birds

A great client of mine asked me to design a sign for a baby boy shower she was hosting and offering birdseed favors to guests. 

I'm all for functional favors, and her idea to hang them from a potted tree branch was so clever.  Love this idea!