One-armed bandit

This is where I've been the past few days...exactly here in this chair and 95% of the time in those same yoga pants:

The ligaments in my wrist were surgically repaired, hopefully closing the long chapter of last year's car accident.  In the meantime, my husband has a lot of opportunities to perfect the perfect pony-tail. 

Mischief: That's my policy

It seems as though my insurance agent will never learn that sending me paperwork that requires returning always comes at a price:

He's a nice guy, really, with a great sense of humor.  But I'm sure he's regretting it BIG TIME for selling me coverage (and/or that his photo is readily accesible on his agent web page). 

I'm a wiener, you're a wiener

I've always wanted to see the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile in person.  And there it was, just hanging out in a Portsmouth, N.H., hotel parking lot with no one around but us!

Making my kids dance in front of the Wienermobile: Just further solidification of my love for hotdogs.

Tearing wallpaper wasn't cutting it

Considering we're at the conclusion of Griffin's first diaper-free week, you'd think the greatest tragedies would be numerous loads of laundry or spot-cleaning the couch. But he's actually done quite well, so to make up for the surprise successes he's resorted to just wrecking the bathroom, bit by tiny bit:



Further proof that households with small children never have anything nice.

Free DIY Printable: "Don't do that thing"

Inspired by a line I heard in a hilarious TV commercial, sometimes it's just better to just tell it like it is:

I'm all for *real* inspirational quotes, but this line was just too good to let pass by.  Click here to download yours!

Stall tactics

It truly is coincidence that I have back-to-back potty-related posts, but we're in the midst of "cold turkey week" of Griffin abandoning diapers and going straight to big boy underwear. 

It hasn't been as bad as one would think...until boredom set in during one potty visit and Griffin decided he didn't care for bathroom wallpaper:

Poo stories are always funny

A pregnant friend who works in a corporate office setting gave me permission to share this email she sent me under the strict condition of anonimity.   We've had a long-running joke about the weirdness of an office ladies' room and she had me in tears sharing her recent experience:

"So, it's the rule that when doing something of a number two nature, you’d rather wait until no one is in the restroom.  I’m usually pretty lucky here because it’s mostly men in my office, so the women’s room is usually always empty. But I went in today and there was a woman already in one of the stalls. And I had to go. So I went in, sat down to wait... and it became clear we were in a stand-off. She wasn’t going to go until I left, and I wasn’t going to go until she left. It was deadly quiet and awkward, with neither of us doing anything except sitting and trying not to breathe.

"Who won, you ask? Sadly, she did. Pregnancy lowers my stamina. But I was out of there without seeing her face, so it was almost like I won, too."

Bravo, my friend.  Bravo on your stealth victory.

Scalloped, personalized birthday banner

I was asked by a birthday client if I would create a banner for her one-year-old son, and here it is! 

It's my first strung banner and I'm pleased with how it turned out using a shimmering silver scallop design and black/white images of her little one.

It was a little time-intensive handcrafting every scallop and circle, but the end design was worth it. 

Thank goodness her son has a short name, though.  If it was something alpha-hefty like "CHRISTOPHER," I would have thrown in the towel.  Ha ha, kidding!  Email me if you're interested in having a custom banner of your very own.

Free DIY printable: Mother's Day gift tags

 
You know those cute little plants found in the floral aisle of grocery stores?  I think they make great little gifts.

Click here to download free, DIY printable circle gift tags from Good Gravy! The design is double-sided so you can affix each side to a popsicle stick (or use a clothespin like I did because for the life of me I can't find that stinkin' bag of popsicle sticks I bought last week).

Best of all? The gift tags aren't necessarily just for moms...you can use them for other women in your life who you recognize on Mother's Day, like aunts, teachers, grandmothers and more.  Enjoy!

 

No tough guy is safe

Innocently placed magazine on coffee table + errant purple marker + sneaky five year old = moths to a flame.

It's so fluffy!

If you've ever wondered to yourself, "Who are the the target market nutballs buying cotton candy out of a plastic container?"...

...Hello, it's nice to meet you.

You like me. You really like me.

I am just so humbled by the number of followers I'm fortunate to have and provide mild entertainment for since starting Good Gravy! just three years ago. 

I'm not known for my mushiness so I'll just say this: Thanks for being the outlet I've always wanted to have to share in the wackiness of my day-to-day, photos and doings of my family, my endless practical jokes, and my unhealthy fear of dolls. 

I {heart} you all.



PS: And to my in-real-life friends, thanks for not blowing my cover when running into me at the store wearing dirty clothes and no make-up, or hearing me swear up a storm, and turning a blind eye to my poor choices in footwear.  I have an image to maintain, people.

DIY free printable: "It takes courage"

I like this quote from e.e. cummings:

I found an inexpensive 5x7" frame, threw the quote into a quick design layout and printed it.

 Like this quote, too?  Click here to download your very own free DIY print.

Brunch, bubbles and buckets

We had Easter brunch with our friends from Into Ablivia on Sunday. 

In her kids' Easter baskets, Holly included washable colored bubbles despite a store employee's warning "it's messy." 

Um, messy hardly described it, and we were unprepared for the color-carnage that was about to unleash despite this note on the package:

The coloring from the bubbles got on everything: clothing, hair, faces, appendages.  It was a huge {albeit fun} mess.

Since the ink was e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e, it was just easier to let the kids play with soap and warm water buckets before running back indoors.  Which unexpectedly brought us to this:

"Brunch, bubbles and buckets."  Our new Easter tradition.

Stirring the text pot

My husband, Eli, recently got a new cell phone number and whoever had it before him apparently didn't tell anyone of the change, so Eli gets pinged with random, misdirected text messages quite often, like this one:

These messages -  to who we've determined is named "Mike" - have been going on for a while and at all hours, so instead of ignoring, Eli now engages and responds on behalf of Mike (shown in green):

There have been other exchanges including "Dude, you were such a jerk last night," and Eli responded, "I have tickets to the circus.  Want them?"

Nothing like stirring the pot with random strangers.

Yuck E. Sneezes + Hip Hop

I thought it would be neat idea to let the Gravy Kids have a say in where they took me for my birthday this past weekend.  This was the first and last time I will let them decide.

They enthusiastically announced that that establishment which rhymes with "Yuck E. Sneezes" was the numero-uno place to be.  Not one to burst their bubbles, I reluctantly conceded and we went.  For my 34th birthday.  And for proof, here is the certification of "Hip Hop Dancer" I received:

Represent.

Thirty-something

It was my birthday over the weekend and at 34, I am officially in my mid-thirties.  Wowser.

Let's celebrate how, based on today's infant-raising standards, I managed to  survive the late 70's with a fluffy pillow in my bassinette, a my-first-string-around-my-neck-bonnet, and what appears to be socks on my hands:

Thanks, Mom and Dad.

Me + Stationery = Potty Mouth

Caution: This post is unintentionally inappropriate for work/children.  But it's darn funny if you care to continue reading.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Every so often, I get a request to imprint the back flap of invitation envelopes.  And sometimes, the layout falls short of what was actually intended:



Good thing I realized what this was saying before sending the project to the client...but not before producing an entire batch of envelopes.  My bad.